Alice’s Adventures In Hyde Park

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the Serpentine beach. So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of drinking a red wine might be worth the trouble of getting up and finding the local Sainsbury’s, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes made an awesome looking magic-slide and halted right by her.

There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, “Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!” (when she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually took an allen key out of its waistcoat-pocket, adjusted a frame bolt, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either an allen key, or wearing a set of brand new Salomon FSK Detonators with 80mm Crazy Glue Matter F1 wheels.

“How odd!” she thought “Those are indoor wheels! And Salomon haven’t made skates for at least five years!”. Burning with curiosity, she ran across the Serpentine Road after it, just in time to see it zip past a nearby rabbit hole and head off in the direction of Hyde Park Corner.

“Cribbins!” thought Alice. “I’d better get my bunny ears, fluffy tail and provocative but empowering bunny-girl costume on … and find my skates!”

Easter Skate 2012: After six years of this, you ought know what to do 😉

http://www.lfns.co.uk/easter-skate-2012/

LFNS iPhone App

We’re pleased to announce a new LFNS app for iPhone 3GS and later devices. The app was produced by an independent software developer and is available free of charge from the Apple App Store.

The app gives you instant notification as soon as we announce whether a skate is on or rained off.

It also lists the latest skate route maps and plots your current position on the map – handy if you’re running late and trying to catch up with your friends.

We’re stil hoping someone will make a similar app for Android phones, so let us know if you’re interested!

http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/skate-routes/id498731602?mt=8

New Years Resolution: Skate More?

Got a new years resolution yet? Skate more?

By now you know about our humble offerings, the London Friday Night Skate and the Sunday Stroll. You’ve probably also heard of our sister skate, the Wednesday night LondonSkate (which starts in April). But while all three are awesome they may for whatever reason not suit you. Too hard, or too easy? Too central or the wrong night of the week? Don’t despair, we’re here to let you know there are Other Skating Options(tm).

Sunday Stroll too fast for you? How about the Easy Saturday Skate. A very social 2 laps of Battersea Park on Saturday morning for beginners and improvers, with a coffee or ice cream stop. There’s a website for it http://www.easysaturdayskate.com/ and a Facebook group too http://www.facebook.com/groups/44054001360/.

LFNS too slow for you? Try the LondonSkaters Speed Team. They train several times a week, usually Saturday and Sunday mornings, Thursday evenings in the winter and Tuesday evenings in the summer. Members often also arrange ad-hoc sessions to suit themselves (both on skates and on bicycle). They’ve got a website http://www.londonspeedskaters.com/ and a forum where you can ask questions http://www.londonspeedskaters.com/forums/index.php. It’s free to attend your first few training sessions and decide if you like it.

Want something more intense and interactive? Roller Hockey. Deejay Romeo Robinson writes to inform us the South London Lions roller hockey team are recruiting, check them out on Facebook, here http://www.facebook.com/groups/southlondonlions/

For a more casual game of hockey you can also keep an eye on this Facebook group, they organize ad hoc games in Hyde Park on Saturdays http://www.facebook.com/groups/63267102166/

Feeling a bit depressed? You need suicide – street skating with all the safeties switched off. It’s not for the faint hearted or the unfit, but if you can penetrate the layers of in-joke and hyperbolic comment then this Facebook group is worth a look http://www.facebook.com/groups/ntntwns/. Although it might seem daunting, it’s essentially what our marshals do when marshaling the skate, so it can’t be *that* difficult. But you didn’t hear about it from us.

And finally, of course, you could always become an LFNS marshal. Indeed, we’ve been rather short on female lead marshals for a year or two now, so come on girls keep your end up. Ask about it at our next skate.

Our next skate which is Friday, by the way. Happy New Year!

THREE SLEEPS TILL LondonSantaSkate!!

Roll up, roll up, get your tickets and roll on, the biggest, fabbest, festivest end of the skating year is almost here! Four hundred Santas on skates will take the streets of London THIS SATURDAY 17th of December 2011, from Hyde Park Corner.

Not enough good news? Well here’s some more: this Saturday will see the long awaited and much anticipated return of BOTH the LondonSkate BassFreight AND the LFNS Firebrox music bikes. Not one but TWO bass-heavy music-blaring battle-blasters, arranged in perfect formation with the Thumpers and a constellation of ASBOxes and ASBOmbs larger than have ever been assembled in a single skate before. Were you hoping to hear the herald angels sing this Saturday? Sorry about that, you might have trouble making them out as we NOISE IT UP!

Best of all the weather forecast a few days out is looking NOT PARTICULARLY DISASTROUS. Yes folks, keep your fingers quietly crossed and this year … this year … Mmmmm hmmmm yeaaahh!!

LondonSantaSkate is the only ticketed skate of the year. Get your tickets online at the link below, all money gathered from tickets is put aside to pay for aspects of the skates like the bikes, the radios and brand spanking new marshals vests. No money pays people – everyone who runs the skates does so voluntarily.

The schedule once again:

  • 2pm-4pm – Collect your Santa Suit from The Victoria Public House on Strathearn Place, London, W2 2NH.
  • 4.45pm – Assemble at Hyde Park Corner, the usual Friday night starting spot (Winter Wonderland is blocking the Serpentine).
  • 5pm – Skate departs for a 2 hour jaunt around central London at Sunday Stroll pace. Four hundred Santas on skates do tend to turn heads!
  • 6pm – Half time is at the top of Trafalgar Square. Tell your non-skating friends to meet you here!
  • 7pm – Return to the Victoria Pub, have a drink, collect your stuff and head for the Smithfield Tavern.
  • 7.30pm till late – LondonSantaSkate after party at The Smithfield Tavern, 105 Charterhouse St, London, EC1M 6HW.

In the event of poor weather the LondonSantaSkate party will go ahead on Saturday night as planned, but the LondonSantaSkate will be rescheduled to Sunday 18th at 2pm. Watch Facebook, the LondonSkate website or the LFNS website for updates on the weather call on the afternoon of Saturday 17th.

Online tickets are available here, please buy yours now! – http://santaskate2011.qrickets.com/

Facebook event here: http://www.facebook.com/events/188745861205543/

LondonSkate and LFNS would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Get your ticket, come to LondonSantaSkate and help bring the skating season to its most festive conclusion ever. See you there!

Wicked, wicked, wicked, HO, HO, HO, HO, HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

10 Sleeps Till LondonSantaSkate 2011!!

Tis the week before Christmas, and all through the park,
Not a creature is stirring, not even a lark…
Ok heck that’s not true, please don’t make me laugh,
Winter Wonderland’s hogging the bulk of the path!

Forget about chimneys, it’s too soon for stockings,
Conventional wisdom says we should be shopping.
Instead here we are feeling all cold and stark,
Awaiting the sounds that will light up this dark.

It was fun at the Vic when we picked up our suits,
There was fire and carpet and friends in cahoots.
It was warm and inviting with beer and good food,
A festive environment for positive mood!

But here in this cold it’s getting quite boring
If it doesn’t start soon we’ll be off home and snoring!
It’s always the same, what’s up with you mutts?
Come on you guys we’re freezing our butts!!!

Finally the sound we’ve been wanting to hear,
A music bike comes to the sound of a cheer.
The sound of worn bearings as they whizz too and fro,
The thump of a BassFreight at last on the go.

Now Roggie! Now Mozza! Now Saffy and Bry!
On Kaisa! On Cat! On Aquila and Joy!
To the Arch reindeer forward, onto the street,
Shake those cute backsides and wiggle those feet!

At last! That took ages! We’re now on the move
In all our red suits we can finally groove.
Reindeers in front, with a Firebrox sled
And portly St Rick-alaus right up ahead!

All down the street a merry cheer rises,
For four hundred Santas of all shapes and sizes.
There’s elfs, trees and ninjas and even … Jack Frost?
Yikes! That slick silver lycra will have mental cost!

Now that we’re moving time actually flies,
A little exertion puts warmth in our thighs.
Watch out! Keep your balance! Stay on top of your skates!
This street’s rather slippery so look out for your mates!

It’s halftime at last – boy it’s cold now we’re here
Ha! Spare a thought for the poor old reindeer!
They dress rather sheer to be looking so fine,
Hope they’ll keep warm with Douglet’s mulled wine!

A photo? Or two? Oh another? Oh alright,
But I’m freezing my backside so let’s not spend all night!
Hug me! Quick, kiss me! Then let’s all go za-zoom,
The Smithfield is waiting and I know they have room!

Inside the Tavern, let’s be warm and have beer!
I’m feeling my toes again now that we’re here.
“I can tell you, you guys, you have no idea
I’ve been waiting for this for the whole of the year!”

Shake your thing, move around, it’s time to get down,
LondonSantaSkate party’s the talk of the town!
We sing from the heart and we mean it sincere:
It’s a crime that this happens only once in a year!

LondonSantaSkate! LondonSantaSkate! Tell you what dude,
We’re tipsy and loud and don’t mean to be rude.
But shout four hundred Santa’s with all of our might,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

… And to quote a well known Xmas character: “Wicked, wicked, wicked! Ho! Ho! Hoooooo!”

LondonSantaSkate 2011 takes place on Saturday 17th December 2011, followed by an after party at the Smithfield Tavern. Full details are online at http://www.londonsantaskate.com, but we’ll repeat them here because we love you that much!

On Saturday 17th December:

  • 2pm-4pm – Collect your Santa Suit from The Victoria Public House on Strathearn Place, London, W2 2NH.
  • 4.45pm – Assemble at Hyde Park Corner, the usual Friday night starting spot (Winter Wonderland is blocking the Serpentine).
  • 5pm – Skate departs for a 2 hour jaunt around central London at Sunday Stroll pace. Four hundred Santas on skates do tend to turn heads!
  • 6pm – Half time is at the top of Trafalgar Square. Tell your non-skating friends to meet you here!
  • 7pm – Return to the Victoria Pub, have a drink, collect your stuff and head for the Smithfield Tavern.
  • 7.30pm till late - LondonSantaSkate after party at The Smithfield Tavern, 105 Charterhouse St, London, EC1M 6HW.

In the event of poor weather the LondonSantaSkate party will go ahead on Saturday night as planned, but the LondonSantaSkate will be rescheduled to Sunday 18th at 2pm. Watch Facebook, the LondonSkate website or the LFNS website for updates on the weather call on the afternoon of Saturday 17th.

LondonSantaSkate is the only skate of the year where we kindly ask for your £10 donation, of which £3 goes towards a Santa suit for you to wear on the night and £7 goes towards paying for web servers, radios,  marshal vests, music systems and all the things we use to run the skates year round. No money goes directly to pay people, we’re all volunteers and no profit is taken from donations received. Even if the skate rains off your donation will fund free street skating for the rest of the year, so it’s worth it.

Online tickets are available here, please buy yours now! – http://santaskate2011.qrickets.com/

Facebook event here: http://www.facebook.com/events/188745861205543/

LondonSkate and LFNS would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Get your ticket, come to LondonSantaSkate and help bring the skating season to its most festive conclusion ever. Then take a break … and bring on the ruckass that will be 2012 😉

 

 

LondonSantaSkate 2011 – 17th December 2011!

Plans are well underway for this years LondonSantaSkate which takes place on 17th December 2011!

LondonSantaSkate is a little different to all the other marshaled street skates in several ways. Firstly, it’s a costume skate, obviously.But secondly it is a ticketed event by donation, the only skate of the year where we kindly ask you for money to take part.

What does this mean?

All year round the LondonSkate and LFNS run skates on a volunteer basis. All of our events, including LondonSantaSkate, are free. Marshals and organizers donate their time entirely without recompense or payment of any form, other than a stonking good time and the adrenaline rush of occasionally riding a taxi bonnet.

However both organizations do incur costs in the execution of our skates. Last year for example LondonSkate and LFNS spent money on:

  • The BassBomb ‘Big Red’ and two of the new ASBOmbs – note that 10 or so additional ASBOmbs were paid for by their individual owners.
  • A pair of new interoperable audio transmitters, one for each skate, and several additional receivers.
  • New battery packs for the older music boxes and receivers.
  • Repairs on both the music bikes.
  • New radios for the LFNS & the relevant license for operating them.
  • New radio batteries for the LondonSkate.
  • Webserver hosting costs for both groups.
  • Webserver domain name registrations.
  • New marshal vests and inserts (which you should hopefully see on the skates before the end of the year).
  • Printing costs for flyers and cards.

After a year of free skating we kindly ask you to donate – and it is a donation – to participate in just one skate, that being LondonSantaSkate. Of the £10 you donate roughly £3 goes towards the cost of a Santa suit for you to wear on the skate. Everyone who gets at ticket gets the option of a suit. If you have your own suit already though the £3 it saves us is very much appreciated. The balance of your donation, usually £7, goes into the coffers of the LondonSkate, which are kindly shared with the LFNS and Sunday Stroll. This money defrays our joint expenses in running skates over the rest of the year. You are welcome to donate more than £10 for your ticket if you want to, a proportion of people each year do this and we thank you.

This year LondonSantaSkate tickets are only available online, via http://www.londonsantaskate.com

LondonSantaSkate! It’s a stonking good time! Even if it snows off like last year the LondonSantaSkate Party will go ahead regardless of weather and what happens with the skate. Your donation will help pay for an entire YEAR of skating. If you skate regularly it’s worth it. Please buy a ticket and prepare to get excited!

 

Halloween Skate 2011 – Thank You All!!

Massive, massive thanks to everyone who came out for Halloween Skate 2011 last night. Thank you to all the marshals, the sound crew, the DJ crew, the staff of the Smithfield Tavern and to all of you, our skaters who made so much wild and wonderful effort to bling-up and take part. You’re all deliciously, wonderfully, wickedly naughty, keep up the good wicked work!

If you have photos you’d like to share please upload them to our Facebook page or feel free to post album links on our wall. We welcome your contributions and your feedback!

If you liked last night and want more the next major costume skate will be the LondonSkate’s LondonSantaSkate 2011, on 17th December. If you’re in town we sincerely hope to see you there too!!

Until next year then, think black thoughts, wear black tights, practice thy maniacal cackle and prepare ye for the onslaught of All Hallows Eve 2012!!

Mwah ha aha haahaa haaa ahaaa ahaaaaaaa haaaaaa!!!!

Halloween Skate 2011!

With thanks to Nick Grant for the superb new artwork, please visit the newly relaunched http://www.halloweenskate.com!

Thrice the black cab horn hath blared!

Thrice and once the blue-light wailed!

Richard cries ‘Tis time, ’tis time!

Round about the Serp we go;
Up and down the nightmare row
Gravel rash and grazed sting
Blistered feet and sweaty ming
In the gloaming evil glow
Shall the skate be called a “GO”?

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Lube your bearings with fresh blood
Filled with grit and other crud
In late October come and play
From 5pm on Sabbath day!
ASBOX boom and ASBOmb slay
Funeral dirge infuse the way
Fiendish tunes for charm and trouble
Firebrox for trouble double!

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Through the city whoop and shout
On wheels your wicked costumes flout
Robes of demons, priests and ghouls
Witches, pirates, vamps and fools!
Revelers in evil bling
All night long will shake their thing!
Nymphs shall play and DJs slay
Debauchery till end of day
Avail yourself of landlords foam
Then terrorize the night bus home!

Come thee under storm or starlight:

Smithfield Tavern until two,
Then maybe Fabric – just for you!

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Make fast the frames and tight the bolts
Lace up taut against the jolts!

Harken, hear the wheels they hum
Something wicked this way comes!

Halloween Skate 2011 starts from 5.30pm (-ish … essentially we start once it gets dark enough) on Saturday October 29th on the Serpentine Road in Hyde Park. Halloween Skate after party at the Smithfield Tavern, 105 Charterhouse Street London EC1M 6HR, from 7.30-ish until 2am. Skater DJs will spin up tunes and there shall be dancing. Don’t forget the end of UK daylight savings leaves you an extra witching hour. In the event of bad weather the skate may move to Sunday, but the party will still be on Saturday. Check lfns.co.uk for weather updates closer to the time.

All you have to do is get your wicked on, so harken … this way … come!

Mwah ha hah hah hahhaha hahaaaaha ahaaaaa!!

http://www.halloweenskate.com

The LFNS Guide to Halloween Skate Dress Up!

  • Do dress up. Everyone else will, if you don’t you’ll be Billy no-mates and everyone will point and laugh cruelly, because that’s a Halloweeny thing to do.

Of course when skating sometimes  real blood is easier to come by.

  • Seriously though – if you haven’t done this before, nearly everyone will dress up. It’s part of what makes Halloween Skate so cool. You’ll look like a gump if you don’t make *some* sort of effort.
  • ‘Costumes’ can be simple – wear black, add face paint. Job done.
  • But it’d be nice if you go a bit further than that. Sorry. We didn’t mean to use the word ‘nice’ in the context of Halloween there. Halloween isn’t meant to be ‘nice’. We meant ‘deliciously evilly wicked’.
  • The Internet is your friend. Have a look around on Amazon, eBay and online costume shops. You don’t have to go for a whole costume, just a few things can add up to something unique and cool. Fake tattoos maybe? A fake moustache? Perhaps a black feather boa or a wig. Some spiderweb stockings or a fish net bra? If past years are any guide those look really good on boys.
  • Bear in mind costumes that make you unrecognizable are fun. You can pick up that way. “… Who are you? Oh sorry! I thought you were someone else… Hi! Nice to meet you! Nice costume! … Teeheehee!”. See what we mean? A good costume naturally creates a false sense of security, which once accomplished means you can get them alone, rip open their head and eat their brain. This is Halloween remember, the definition of “pick up” is a bit altered.
  • If going for a more complicated costume, perhaps something to make you a bit unrecognizable, bear in mind that all of your friends know what your skates look like. They probably know what you look like wearing your skates better than you do. Disguise your skates. People get made by their skates. When you get made, it’s all over baby, you can forget about picking up. No brains for you.
  • Do pose for photos. Do strike a pose in your photos. It’s much more Halloweeny to growl at the camera, make like to rip your friend’s face off, or cruelly stick your tongue in someone’s ear at just the wrong moment. Ahh the look on their face. Though perhaps you want to consider who you try that last one with, it’s not exactly Halloweeny to clean one’s ears before skating.
  • If you’re worried about how you’ll look on film, be a vampire. *Boom*, *tish*. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
  • Do skate. It’ll be slow, we have to accommodate the zombies. The route has several loops in it, if you’re tired you can hop off at a strategic spot and have an extra halftime till we come back again. While you’re waiting, you might consider gathering some snacks for the cannibals.
  • Do say hello to your ghastly neighbors. Refer however to cautionary note about being “picked up”.

NOT good for dancing. Ok for scaring children though.

  • Do dress fun. Do dress sexy. Do dress for dancing. Remember there’s a party after the skate, so whatever you’re wearing, make it dance-able. Seven foot high fully enclosed robot costume = not good for dancing. Hot vampire with whip = very good for dancing. Whip also good for making space on the dance floor. DO dress for dancing – you don’t want to be moving like some sort of undead half-demented zombie. Sorry … sorry … you do. You DO want to be moving like some sort of undead half-demented zombie.
  • DO scare the public. Seriously. Go ahead and do that. Nothing can possibly go wrong. Really NOTHING CAN go wrong. Ha ha ha. You’ll be fine. We’re sure you will. Oh yes, ha, ha, ha. Mmmm. We do look forward to watching you get yourself out of that situation. Really, do scare the public. We want to see how that turns out.
  • Finally, if you stack, DO make clear to our first aiders which of your wounds are the real ones, otherwise they won’t know where to start cutting.

Are we getting the idea yet? We do deliciously evilly hope so. DO get on with the wickedness. Sort yourself out for the blackest, edgiest, spider-webiest skate of the season.

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha haa haa haaa haaaa haaaaaa!!

Halloween Skate 2014