LONDON FRIDAY NIGHT SKATE TM
& SUNDAY STROLL TM

From: Week on Wheels <wow /at/ lfns.co.uk>
Subject: [wow] Week on Wheels: Find the eLFNtS
Date: Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:39:51 +0000

This Week, on Wheels -

* This week: Elephas maximus; epsilon pachyderm perambulation
* Last week: Every Witch way we could; Sun arrested in Rain Dance shocker!
* Halloween Skate
* Marshal profile: B & Q
* 20 lanes and 20 skaters - skating Heaven in South America.
* Roller Hockey - getting stick for skating


== THIS WEEK ==

We tried really hard, but thanks to rain and snow[1] and the vice-like
grip of his trunk, we were unable to prise the helm from Cobblemeister
Markus's grip, so this week we're still off to see the elephants -
twice in fact.

The LFNS will still offer the same smooth surfaces we promised last
week, and we've been assured by Google Earth that Pimlico and Lambeth
are still where we thought they would be last week. So be prepared to
make lots of noise as we make a stop at the Elephant and Castle,
before heading over London Bridge on the black run back to the park.

                              http://www.lfns.co.uk/route.php/20061103

The SUNDAY STROLL heads off in search of the missing baby
heffalump. This small African heffalump (Loxodonta Africana) was last
seen south of the river in the market at Lower Marsh (just behind
Waterloo station), having strayed some distance from its mother.
We'll be checking river crossings at key locations, Lambeth and
Westminster bridges, before continuing with the hunt through some old
favourites in Westminster, St James and Victoria, then back towards
the park up the Queens smooth[2] red road that is Constitution
Hill.

It's only 7.7 miles short, and will be fun.

                               http://www.lfns.co.uk/route.php/20061105

All together now, "Nelly the Elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye
to the circus......"

[1] a blatant lie
[2] likewise


== LAST WEEK ==

Yesterday, we were reliably informed that the Sun had been arrested in
a consipracy to drench the streets of London. "It seems we've been
duped all along," says Rear Marty. Police investigations have
unravelled an ancient conspiracy that proves that much to the surprise
of many that the Sun, otherwise known as "Big Sol" to his friends, is
the kingpin of an organised crime syndicate dedicated to soaking
London's streets, culminating in a downpour which prevented our usual
LFNS last week.

For aeons people have blamed the oceans, lakes and rivers of the world
for the occasional deluges of water that ravage the skating community,
but recent investigations using new UVA profiling techniques have
revealed that Big Sol spends a lot of time and effort evaporating
water into the atmosphere, before callously turning off the heat when
water vapour is near its target. As it cools the invisible water vapor
condenses, first into clouds and then finally into raindrops.

"We may have taken out the ringleader, but as you know there's millions
of other stars out there all waiting for a chance to fill the void" muses
Lead Marshal Christian, "So whilst we cleared the streets for last weeks
Stroll and Halloween skate, we fear we haven't seen the last of Solly and
his friends".

Thanks to Natasha and Christian for dealing with the major on-the-fly
rerouting of our skate on Sunday. We don't know what that big crane
was doing in the middle of the road, but we decided it was best not to
argue. A slightly shorter than normal Sunday Stroll, which pressed on
a bit to be back in time for the Halloween skate. Normal chilled
service - complete with half time - will resume this week, so if you
didn't make it all the way back to the park, try again this Sunday.


== WITCHING HOUR ==

The HALLOWEEN SKATE was, as last year, put on by the London skating
community, with marshals from both the LFNS and LondonSkate helping
out, and sound provided by the combined efforts of FireBrox and
Thumper 2 that came up from Bournemouth for the event. Vampires,
zombies, Jedi knights, nurses, elves, skeletons, Blue Men and random
flashing people were all in evidence. ( The organisers wish to stress
that nobody was arrested for public indecency). Massive thanks to
everyone who helped make it a possibility: organisers, marshals, Vic
decorators, music mixers, pedal pushers, photographers, and all the
people who helped clear up afterwards.

- "Great skate everyone, thanks to everyone who made it out was really
   good fun, oh and yes the blue stuff does come off"

- "unlike the fake blood" Sad

                         http://www.chuci.org/pictures/2006/20061029/
                         http://www.baxka.com/miles/hallow/index.htm
         http://www.flickr.com/groups/halloween_skate_2006/pool/show/



== PROFILE VIEW - BUILD YOUR OWN ==

We don't have a marshal profile this week, but we've provided this
handy tool for you to use to build your own. Simply fill in the blanks
and select the most appropriate option where choices are marked with *

"N is one of our newer/older* marshals, having been marshalling for
   one month/a few months/two years/longer than you can possibly
   imagine*. He/she* first got into skating 1/2/3/5/10/6010* years
   ago, and after a few hairy moments with
   taxis/kerbs/pedestrians/mohair suits took to it like a duck to
   water/Knightsbridge/orange*.

   When not marshalling street skates N is into
   speed/slalom/hockey/ramps/dance/sharking girls at Skate Patrol*,
   and can often be seen at [...] - instantly recognisable by his/her*
   distinctive helmet/lycra/offensive t-shirt/custom quads/dazed
   expression/broken arm/third arm/complete lack of instantly
   recognisable features*. He/she* is violently pro/anti* the attempts
   of the LSST to subsume all skating in London.

   Off skates, N has a day job involving something complicated to do
   with IT/accountancy/banking/lion taming*, as well as a/no* life in
   North/South/East/West/17th Century* London with [...] significant
   other(s), [...] children and a small dog/cat/goldfish/guinea
   pig/peacock/basilisk*. Some day he/she* plans/threatens/promises*
   to [...]



==STREET SKATING IN BUENOS AIRES==

Buenos Aires claims the widest street in the road (20 lanes when I last
counted). Roads are potholed and drivers love to weave across lanes,
clipping each other with casual enthusiasm. So not a good place for a
street skate, then?

How wrong can you be? The Buenos Aires street skate scene is lively, fun
and a really great place to be. We went out with them twice: once on
their weekly Saturday afternoon run (leaves 4 o'clock from the front of
the Hilton Hotel) and once for a Bank Holiday one-way to a local resort.

The skates are small. There were just twenty or thirty people on the ones
we joined, though we were told that there are more when it isn't a
holiday weekend. Everyone knows everybody and new arrivals will greet
the whole gang with a round of cheek kissing before setting off. Despite
this, we started more promptly than the average LFNS and lurched into
the Buenos Aires traffic.

We travelled quite slowly, with lots of chat. It's a great way to meet
people who live in the city and this mainly young group are more likely to
speak English than most people you will run into. Traffic is much more
tolerant than London drivers and people generally seem happy to have
skaters wandering across the roads, through the pedestrian precincts and
even (shades of Markus) around the multi-storey car parks.

The route is more or less made up as they go along and there's no
marshalling and only very occasional blocking, so there's quite a lot of
waiting for the back to catch up. It makes a great way to see the city.
We've spent a lot of time in Buenos Aires and we still found ourselves
exploring new places as well as skating past familiar ones.

The potholes are truly horrific - but so horrific that they are easy
to spot and avoid. Generally surfaces gave less trouble than the
average Markus route.

The skate format - one hour skating, ten minutes half time outside
some shops, another hour to the end - seemed strangely familiar, as
did the finish point. This was a large park where the roads were taken
over by freestylers with rows of slalom cones and hockey skaters
drifted to and from scratch games somewhere the other side of the lake
- though if Buenos Aires has its own Albert Memorial, we missed it.

[Practical travel-type stuff: Argentina does not require a visa for UK
nationals. Accommodation is cheap - cheaper if you find an apartment,
which is worth hiring even for a week. Everything else (except skates)
is ridiculously inexpensive. Hire skates are difficult to find and not
very good. Take your own. Tango is optional.

The website for the Buenos Aires street skate is
http://www.patinenlinea.com.ar ]


==A HOCKEY PLAYER WRITES==

There's regular scratch hockey matches at the Albert Memorial every
Saturday and Sunday afternoon. In summer, people are pretty slow to
turn up but now the clocks have changed, games kick off soon after 2.00
and keep going till the light runs out.

The game's played on asphalt and people don't wear a lot of
protection, so smashing your opponents to the ground is
discouraged. This means concentrating on skating skills and ball
control. Ball control may not help your street skating but the other
skills surely will - and concentrating on the ball means that skating
becomes instinctive, making you a faster, more relaxed mover. And,
although scorekeeping went by the wayside a long time ago, the
competitive element makes it a lot more fun than drills.

We're a friendly bunch and always happy to welcome new players. Some
of us have coaching experience and all are happy to give advice but
most people soon grasp the basic idea of getting hold of the ball and
banging it into the net. (Some have yet to hit the right net, but
they're working on it.)

You can usually borrow a stick the first time you play and that's the
only extra kit you will definitely need - though hockey gloves
are helpful and some people find shin pads useful. If you're new,
though, people will be gentle with you - we really try not to
break our players.

Give it a go. You might even enjoy it.

== Editor's Final word ==

Dan was asked to provide a final word this week to help make editor
Marty look more intelligent and highbrow. So here is it:

   "Marmalade"


== WoW now Brown Elephant ==

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