Halloween Skate 2012!

Image courtesy of ideoda.com

We don't bite...

Saturday, 27th October …

Thrice the black cab horn hath blared!

Thrice and once the blue-light wailed!

Richard cries ‘Tis time, ’tis time!

Round about the Serp we go;
Up and down the nightmare row
Gravel rash and grazed sting
Blistered feet and sweaty ming
In the gloaming evil glow
Shall the skate be called a “GO”?

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Lube your bearings with fresh blood
Filled with grit and other crud
In late October come and play
From 5pm on Sabbath day!
ASBOX boom and ASBOmb slay
Funeral dirge infuse the way
Fiendish tunes for charm and trouble
Firebrox for trouble double!

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Through the city whoop and shout
On wheels your wicked costumes flout
Robes of demons, priests and ghouls
Witches, pirates, vamps and fools!
Revelers in evil bling
All night long will shake their thing!
Nymphs shall play and DJs slay
Debauchery till end of day
Avail yourself of landlords foam
Then terrorize the night bus home!

Come thee under storm or starlight:

Smithfield Tavern until two,
Then maybe Fabric – just for you!

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Make fast the frames and tight the bolts
Lace up taut against the jolts!

Harken, hear the wheels they hum
Something wicked this way comes!

Halloween Skate 2012 starts from 5.30pm (-ish … essentially we start once it gets dark enough) on Saturday October 27th on the Serpentine Road in Hyde Park. Halloween Skate after party at the The Star Of Kings pub, 126 York Way Kings Cross London, N1 0AX, from 7.30-ish until 2am. Skater DJs will spin up tunes and there shall be dancing. Don’t forget the end of UK daylight savings leaves you an extra witching hour. In the event of bad weather the skate may move to Wednesday 31st, but the party will still be on Saturday. Check lfns.co.uk for weather updates closer to the time.

All you have to do is get your wicked on, so harken … this way … come!

Mwah ha hah hah hahhaha hahaaaaha ahaaaaa!!


Waitrose Belgravia – A note for Sunday Strollers, Please Read!

On Sunny Sundays a lot of Sunday Stroller’s like to hang out in the park after the skate for a picnic, an activity that usually goes hand-in-hand with a visit to the nearest supermarket for solid and liquid supplies shortly after 4pm. The nearest and most popular supermarket destination is the Waitrose Belgravia branch, at 27 Motcomb Street SW1X 8GG just south of the park. Many Sunday Strollers are quite familiar with it.

On Sunday the manager of Waitrose Belgravia, a nice man named Jim, noticed that I had a LM vest tucked under my belt as I entered the store and politey took me aside to ask a favour. That favour was to put the word out about the following points.

First the good news: Jim and his staff like us and are, on the record, happy to let us into the store on our skates. Waitrose Belgravia is, frankly, pleased to accept the custom of skaters and happy to accomodate our uniquely wheeled patronage. However Jim does have to consider the shopping experience of, and feedback from, his non-skating customers. He therefore humbly requests that please, can we observe the following guidelines while shopping at Waitrose.

1) Please GO SLOW INSIDE the store. You should always skate in control anyway, just be sure and do it inside the supermarket too. Remember the other customers are not on skates, they can be suprised and maybe a little intimidated by all these huffing sweaty six-foot-and-taller scruffies with wheels on (my description of course, Jim put it much more politely).

2) Please GO SLOW OUTSIDE the store too. There are elderly patrons at Waitrose. Please don’t be thrashing up the street and powersliding to a stop at the front door, making them drop their shopping in surprise. Though to be fair Jim didn’t mention any powersliding or dropped shopping. He just asked if can we please go slow and be aware of the other customers when approaching the store.

3) Please try not to mob the store all at once. Apparently there was a bit of a glut of skaters last Sunday. I didn’t see it myself, I was about half an hour behind everyone else by which time I was the only one there, which I must say made shopping a breeze. Spread yourselves out, send one person instead of three, that sort of thing, if you can.

And that’s it – thre simple points that apply pretty much equally to all customers really, not only en-wheeled ones.

The good news, as I say, is that Waitrose want us to keep coming and are – on the record – happy to have skaters in the store, on their skates. It’s a very positive and open attitude and not one shared by all supermarkets in London and is worth preserving. We, skaters (and it’s me saying this, not Jim), need to uphold our end of the deal here by being good customers. Please do your best therefore and give the props to Waitrose that Waitrose is giving to us.

Cheers & Happy Strolling

Smells Like Team Spirit

It’s the week of the East London Olympics innit, So we’re going West, along the river – to avoid the crowds and the Women’s marathon which takes place on Sunday morning. We mean no disrespect though, far from it in fact. It’s proving to be the best Olympic ever for Team GB and for many others too, so BRING OUT YOUR NATIONAL COLOURS. Wave the flag, wear the flag, paint your face, show us where you come from and who your team is, because it’s the Olympics, it only happens here once in a while and today it SMELLS LIKE TEAM SPIRIT!!

Not Long Till The Greatest Shows On Earth!

Yes indeed, because HALLOWEEN SKATE 2012 is just three months away! Get your wicked on and get ready to swarm forth upon the City Of London on Saturday 27th October 2012. There shall be shrieking! There shall be blood! There shall be layer upon layer of costume makeup and a tad bit of partying!

What’s more there are just FIVE SHOPPING MONTHS till Xmas, hardly enough to get done before SANTA SKATE 2012 jingles it’s way out of Hyde Park on Saturday 15th December 2012, for our annual dose of skating good cheer!

If you’re new to all this it may seem crazy early to be announcing these dates but trust us, these two are the highlights of the street skating year. Every year we have people from outside London, from Germany, France, Netherlands and even further afield plan their holidays around the chance to attend one or both of these skates. Mark the dates in your diaries and start dreaming up costumes. Every year seems to get bigger and better and this year promises to be the biggest, bestest and most costumest year ever!

Mwah hah hah. Mwah hah hah! Mwah ha ha ha hah hah ha HA HAAAAAAAA!

Parade Lap!

If you’ve been living under a rock you might not be aware that last weekend was the annual 24 hours of Le Mans skating race, or as we like to affectionately refer to it, the annual “Lemons” race. As has become tradition more than 80 skaters from London and Nottingham headed over to compete and congratulations are in order, with two British teams achieving podium places, several others recording quite high results and several more achieving … one heck of a fun weekend terrorising the locals.

So then it’s time for the Parade Lap, the wind down after the race. Join this week us as we take a leisurely roll around Fulham and Wandsworth, with a restful halftime by the Thames, a pleasantly long and (we hope) dry summer evening, and nary a Dunlop Hill in sight. Whoop!


Night At The Museums!

London has museums. Lots of ‘em. In fact there are so many that we could reasonably take any route in zone one, label it “Night At The Museums” and be more or less on the money. Nevertheless, with this route we have actually made an effort to take in most of the big ones. Go with us here – you’ve got to read this next bit in your best East end cockney cab driver drawl: “Yeah we gotch’a V&A, ya Natural History Museum, ya Saatchi Gallery, and ya Tate Britain right there. Not to mention the Imperial War Museum, ya Tate Modern and good old Apsley House. Then you got’cha National Portrait Gallery, ya National Gallery, your Churchill Museum and ya Cabinet War Rooms. Not to mention the big one: The British Museum. It’s all right here, guv’nor. Where was you going again?”.

We’re going museum hunting! In the process we hope to discover some fine in-situ examples of abandoned topographically unmodulated late Holocene tar-penetration macadam. And to enjoy the nice summer evening.

Night At The Museums: It’s an old favourite back for a new year, because sometimes the past is worth celebrating, no?


Foxtrot Alpha Sierra Tango Echo Romeo

After the twisting, turning, kerb-hopping, stair-climbing bumpy madness of last weeks’ Star Wars skate, this week we’d like to offer its polar opposite: It goes west. But more importantly, it’s composed of long straight stretches, on roads of nicely smoothed out surface. And it comes with, for a change, a half-decent three day weather forecast.

So then, do we have to spell it out for you? It’s going to be …


May The Fourth Be With You!

It’s a tenuous link to name a skate for the fact that pronunciation of its date makes the oronym of a popular science fiction franchise catchphrase, but really what are you expecting here? Sophistication? Pah. Friday is international Star Wars Day, say the geeks, and we’re grasping at straws. So the heck with it.

This week we set off to find the droids we’re looking for, starting with the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is Soho. We must be cautious. Skate in single file to hide your numbers. Don’t let a stranger stroke your Wookie. And remember that dark side cookies aren’t as tasty as they sound.

Then to Hoth! … nee Smithfield … where the frozen expanse of the meat market might offer a moment of sanctuary. Only a moment though, for we must make rapid evasive manoeuvres through the asteroids, err … alleyways of Newgate on the way to halftime at Tower block AA 42. Then the perilous trip back wends via the concrete jungle of central London, before making the jump to light speed along the newly resurfaced length of Embankment.

Be sure to ‘do’, or ‘do not’, there is no ‘try’. Tonight will be adventure skating. And yes no doubt about it, it’s going to be exactly like Star Wars. *AHEM*

Still, should be worth it, weather permitting. Get your skates on Padawans, trust your feelings … and use the Fourth!