LondonSantaSkate 2011 – 17th December 2011!

Plans are well underway for this years LondonSantaSkate which takes place on 17th December 2011!

LondonSantaSkate is a little different to all the other marshaled street skates in several ways. Firstly, it’s a costume skate, obviously.But secondly it is a ticketed event by donation, the only skate of the year where we kindly ask you for money to take part.

What does this mean?

All year round the LondonSkate and LFNS run skates on a volunteer basis. All of our events, including LondonSantaSkate, are free. Marshals and organizers donate their time entirely without recompense or payment of any form, other than a stonking good time and the adrenaline rush of occasionally riding a taxi bonnet.

However both organizations do incur costs in the execution of our skates. Last year for example LondonSkate and LFNS spent money on:

  • The BassBomb ‘Big Red’ and two of the new ASBOmbs – note that 10 or so additional ASBOmbs were paid for by their individual owners.
  • A pair of new interoperable audio transmitters, one for each skate, and several additional receivers.
  • New battery packs for the older music boxes and receivers.
  • Repairs on both the music bikes.
  • New radios for the LFNS & the relevant license for operating them.
  • New radio batteries for the LondonSkate.
  • Webserver hosting costs for both groups.
  • Webserver domain name registrations.
  • New marshal vests and inserts (which you should hopefully see on the skates before the end of the year).
  • Printing costs for flyers and cards.

After a year of free skating we kindly ask you to donate – and it is a donation – to participate in just one skate, that being LondonSantaSkate. Of the £10 you donate roughly £3 goes towards the cost of a Santa suit for you to wear on the skate. Everyone who gets at ticket gets the option of a suit. If you have your own suit already though the £3 it saves us is very much appreciated. The balance of your donation, usually £7, goes into the coffers of the LondonSkate, which are kindly shared with the LFNS and Sunday Stroll. This money defrays our joint expenses in running skates over the rest of the year. You are welcome to donate more than £10 for your ticket if you want to, a proportion of people each year do this and we thank you.

This year LondonSantaSkate tickets are only available online, via

LondonSantaSkate! It’s a stonking good time! Even if it snows off like last year the LondonSantaSkate Party will go ahead regardless of weather and what happens with the skate. Your donation will help pay for an entire YEAR of skating. If you skate regularly it’s worth it. Please buy a ticket and prepare to get excited!


Halloween Skate 2011 – Thank You All!!

Massive, massive thanks to everyone who came out for Halloween Skate 2011 last night. Thank you to all the marshals, the sound crew, the DJ crew, the staff of the Smithfield Tavern and to all of you, our skaters who made so much wild and wonderful effort to bling-up and take part. You’re all deliciously, wonderfully, wickedly naughty, keep up the good wicked work!

If you have photos you’d like to share please upload them to our Facebook page or feel free to post album links on our wall. We welcome your contributions and your feedback!

If you liked last night and want more the next major costume skate will be the LondonSkate’s LondonSantaSkate 2011, on 17th December. If you’re in town we sincerely hope to see you there too!!

Until next year then, think black thoughts, wear black tights, practice thy maniacal cackle and prepare ye for the onslaught of All Hallows Eve 2012!!

Mwah ha aha haahaa haaa ahaaa ahaaaaaaa haaaaaa!!!!

Ready to ‘Mwah ha ha haaa!’?

Halloween Skate 2011 kicks off this Saturday 29th of October 2011.

We would say ‘fingers crossed for the weather’ on Saturday, but such wishy-washy good natured sentiment-driven goodwill seems somehow so completely inappropriate for the event in hand. Therefore: ‘severed fingers of a hapless gumbie run over by a cab and mauled by rabid street dogs framed with a pentacle of skate-instructor chalk and laid out in a smeared bloody cross upon the Serpentine … for the weather!’

There. That’s more like it.


Halloween Skate 2011!

With thanks to Nick Grant for the superb new artwork, please visit the newly relaunched!

Thrice the black cab horn hath blared!

Thrice and once the blue-light wailed!

Richard cries ‘Tis time, ’tis time!

Round about the Serp we go;
Up and down the nightmare row
Gravel rash and grazed sting
Blistered feet and sweaty ming
In the gloaming evil glow
Shall the skate be called a “GO”?

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Lube your bearings with fresh blood
Filled with grit and other crud
In late October come and play
From 5pm on Sabbath day!
ASBOX boom and ASBOmb slay
Funeral dirge infuse the way
Fiendish tunes for charm and trouble
Firebrox for trouble double!

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Through the city whoop and shout
On wheels your wicked costumes flout
Robes of demons, priests and ghouls
Witches, pirates, vamps and fools!
Revelers in evil bling
All night long will shake their thing!
Nymphs shall play and DJs slay
Debauchery till end of day
Avail yourself of landlords foam
Then terrorize the night bus home!

Come thee under storm or starlight:

Smithfield Tavern until two,
Then maybe Fabric – just for you!

Rubble, rubble, oil and bubble;
Get your skates on at the double!

Make fast the frames and tight the bolts
Lace up taut against the jolts!

Harken, hear the wheels they hum
Something wicked this way comes!

Halloween Skate 2011 starts from 5.30pm (-ish … essentially we start once it gets dark enough) on Saturday October 29th on the Serpentine Road in Hyde Park. Halloween Skate after party at the Smithfield Tavern, 105 Charterhouse Street London EC1M 6HR, from 7.30-ish until 2am. Skater DJs will spin up tunes and there shall be dancing. Don’t forget the end of UK daylight savings leaves you an extra witching hour. In the event of bad weather the skate may move to Sunday, but the party will still be on Saturday. Check for weather updates closer to the time.

All you have to do is get your wicked on, so harken … this way … come!

Mwah ha hah hah hahhaha hahaaaaha ahaaaaa!!

The LFNS Guide to Halloween Skate Dress Up!

  • Do dress up. Everyone else will, if you don’t you’ll be Billy no-mates and everyone will point and laugh cruelly, because that’s a Halloweeny thing to do.

Of course when skating sometimes  real blood is easier to come by.

  • Seriously though – if you haven’t done this before, nearly everyone will dress up. It’s part of what makes Halloween Skate so cool. You’ll look like a gump if you don’t make *some* sort of effort.
  • ‘Costumes’ can be simple – wear black, add face paint. Job done.
  • But it’d be nice if you go a bit further than that. Sorry. We didn’t mean to use the word ‘nice’ in the context of Halloween there. Halloween isn’t meant to be ‘nice’. We meant ‘deliciously evilly wicked’.
  • The Internet is your friend. Have a look around on Amazon, eBay and online costume shops. You don’t have to go for a whole costume, just a few things can add up to something unique and cool. Fake tattoos maybe? A fake moustache? Perhaps a black feather boa or a wig. Some spiderweb stockings or a fish net bra? If past years are any guide those look really good on boys.
  • Bear in mind costumes that make you unrecognizable are fun. You can pick up that way. “… Who are you? Oh sorry! I thought you were someone else… Hi! Nice to meet you! Nice costume! … Teeheehee!”. See what we mean? A good costume naturally creates a false sense of security, which once accomplished means you can get them alone, rip open their head and eat their brain. This is Halloween remember, the definition of “pick up” is a bit altered.
  • If going for a more complicated costume, perhaps something to make you a bit unrecognizable, bear in mind that all of your friends know what your skates look like. They probably know what you look like wearing your skates better than you do. Disguise your skates. People get made by their skates. When you get made, it’s all over baby, you can forget about picking up. No brains for you.
  • Do pose for photos. Do strike a pose in your photos. It’s much more Halloweeny to growl at the camera, make like to rip your friend’s face off, or cruelly stick your tongue in someone’s ear at just the wrong moment. Ahh the look on their face. Though perhaps you want to consider who you try that last one with, it’s not exactly Halloweeny to clean one’s ears before skating.
  • If you’re worried about how you’ll look on film, be a vampire. *Boom*, *tish*. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
  • Do skate. It’ll be slow, we have to accommodate the zombies. The route has several loops in it, if you’re tired you can hop off at a strategic spot and have an extra halftime till we come back again. While you’re waiting, you might consider gathering some snacks for the cannibals.
  • Do say hello to your ghastly neighbors. Refer however to cautionary note about being “picked up”.

NOT good for dancing. Ok for scaring children though.

  • Do dress fun. Do dress sexy. Do dress for dancing. Remember there’s a party after the skate, so whatever you’re wearing, make it dance-able. Seven foot high fully enclosed robot costume = not good for dancing. Hot vampire with whip = very good for dancing. Whip also good for making space on the dance floor. DO dress for dancing – you don’t want to be moving like some sort of undead half-demented zombie. Sorry … sorry … you do. You DO want to be moving like some sort of undead half-demented zombie.
  • DO scare the public. Seriously. Go ahead and do that. Nothing can possibly go wrong. Really NOTHING CAN go wrong. Ha ha ha. You’ll be fine. We’re sure you will. Oh yes, ha, ha, ha. Mmmm. We do look forward to watching you get yourself out of that situation. Really, do scare the public. We want to see how that turns out.
  • Finally, if you stack, DO make clear to our first aiders which of your wounds are the real ones, otherwise they won’t know where to start cutting.

Are we getting the idea yet? We do deliciously evilly hope so. DO get on with the wickedness. Sort yourself out for the blackest, edgiest, spider-webiest skate of the season.

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha haa haa haaa haaaa haaaaaa!!

Halloween Skate 2014


Dress Code: Black Tie, With Blood!

It cometh to our attention that many of thee are new this year. Novates. Virgins. Well perhaps not virgins. Innocents, nevertheless. Never before have ye rolled through the valley. Never before have ye felt the power of the dark, the dark draped with sparkly lacy things, gothic and depraved, piratic and demonic.

Learn it well then – the practical fact of things is that Halloween Skate is a dress up skate. Not your fluffy, pink, Easter Bunny Stroll sort of dress up skate. Not your unthreatening eclectic techno-folk Eurovision Song Contest sort of dress up skate. Not your sentimental, jolly, red, don’t-we-all-look-happy-dressed-alike Santa Skate sort of dress up skate. Ohhh no.

Forget your chocolately bunny ears, your banal tunes and your vomitous cheerful good will. Halloween is the witching hour. Halloween is the jagged razor edge. Night of mischief and mayhem, thumping tunes and dancing bodies. Ghouls and demons, nymphs and nerds, come all ye creatures of the night. Dress! Dress, come ye and skate!

Mwahaahahahaahhaaa ahaaaaaaaaha hahaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaahahaaaaaaaaa!!

New ASBOmbs on the LondonSkate!

If you made it to last night’s LondonSkate you would have seen the fruition of several months dedicated and painstaking work – no less than six new music backpacks, affectionately known as ASBOmbs, made it to the skate for the first time. The ASBOmbs are lovingly custom built by our lovable own Mick, who devotes his creative efforts purely for the enjoyment of it. It pays off – you can see the care and attention that goes into each one and you can certainly hear it!

There are several more ASBOmbs to come and we hope to sincerely noise up the forthcoming Halloween Skate in October.

If you missed LondonSkate last night well unfortunately that was it for the year! No more until next April, save for just one rather special LondonSkate on December 17th…!

That day we do so fear, is once again drawing near!

It’s time! Tiiiiiime! Time once again, fools! Have you enjoyed your summer? Your saccarine time of warmth and light? Awww. How nice…

Well it’s over! Gone! Ha haaa! Over and gone! Daylight is fleeting, fools. Have ye not learned by now? Night cometh. Night! The shortening of days, the blood-cold freeze of winter. No more lovers lazing in the sun. No more picnics and easy days. Look forward fools. What do you see? What does your future hold? Toward what malign and singular event do the currents of time inevitably sweep you? Hmmmm? Hah ha haaaa! What event? Hmmm?

Santa Skate?


No! Not Santa Skate! Since when is Santa Skate ‘malign’? Pah! Before that, fools! Halloween Skate! We’re talking about Halloween!

For once again it cometh. Mark the date! HALLOWEEN SKATE 2011 shall burst forth like the stench of 10-day old roadkill punctured by a small boy with a stick upon Saturday 29th of October 2011. Gather 5.30pm near the bandstand on Serpentine Road, Hyde Park. Rain down upon the streets of London with music and wailing, then swarm upon the Smithfield Tavern and dance zombie-like until 2am to the ghastly tunes of skater DJs.

Think black thoughts. Wear black tights. Dress sharp enough to kill. Let there be blood, and for once this year can we please just do it right? Stop having FUN. This is Halloween, darn it. Evil has a reputation to maintain. Time of mayhem and mischief? Quit having such a good time every year we do this and BE WICKED! The only bit you got right last year was debauchery. Shape up! And be on time, evil has a schedule to keep!

Mwwwaaahaa ahahaha ahahahahahahahahaahaaa! Haaa hha haahhhhhaaaa hahaaa!!!!!

Gates Of Old London

Let’s try this again …

Aldgate, Ludgate, Newgate, Aldersgate, Bishopsgate, MoorgateLondon Wall? Ever noticed a theme in the naming of central London roads? Mediaeval London was a walled city! It had seven major gates, of which six are today commemorated in the placement and naming of major central London roads – Aldgate St, Ludgate Hill, Newgate St, Aldersgate St, Bishopsgate and Moorgate. The seventh, poor old Cripplegate, doesn’t get much respect these days. It’s remembered with a mere back-alley just a few metres long, in the wrong place and without even a proper street sign. But that don’t fool us…

JOIN US this Friday as LFNS visits the GATES OF OLD LONDON. We’ll take in all seven ‘gate’ streets, plus the real location of the Cripplegate (in what is now Wood St). Thrown in at no extra are the Barbican, London Wall and the Tower of London, plus a few lesser known curiosities: Castle Baynard street, once the site of Castle Baynard, the western counterpart to the Tower of London which was destroyed in the great fire of 1666 and which was a setting for Shakespeare’s Richard III. It’s now a rather cool tunnel. We’ll also scoot past Paternoster square and the arches of Wren’s Temple Bar, the only surviving gate structure of the old city of London, featured in the writings of one Charles Dickens and now pleasantly devoid of the decapitated heads which once adorned it. And keep your eyes open for scattered surviving fragments of the old wall itself!

All this, and a sprint home along the long smooth surfaces of Embankment and Victoria. How could you possibly miss this?

All hyperbole aside, it is a lovely time of year for skating with the city lights glowing in the gloaming and this route does show off a good section of the square mile (all those pretty skyscrapers!) and the river lights down by embankment. We also pass quite a few tourist landmarks. The route is short – only 18km – and not especially fast because it twists and turns a fair bit. It’s more about exploring interesting places than sprinting. If you’ve not done a Friday before, try this one!