The LFNS Guide to Halloween Skate Dress Up!
September 22, 2011
- Do dress up. Everyone else will, if you don’t you’ll be Billy no-mates and everyone will point and laugh cruelly, because that’s a Halloweeny thing to do.
- Seriously though – if you haven’t done this before, nearly everyone will dress up. It’s part of what makes Halloween Skate so cool. You’ll look like a gump if you don’t make *some* sort of effort.
- ‘Costumes’ can be simple – wear black, add face paint. Job done.
- But it’d be nice if you go a bit further than that. Sorry. We didn’t mean to use the word ‘nice’ in the context of Halloween there. Halloween isn’t meant to be ‘nice’. We meant ‘deliciously evilly wicked’.
- The Internet is your friend. Have a look around on Amazon, eBay and online costume shops. You don’t have to go for a whole costume, just a few things can add up to something unique and cool. Fake tattoos maybe? A fake moustache? Perhaps a black feather boa or a wig. Some spiderweb stockings or a fish net bra? If past years are any guide those look really good on boys.
- Bear in mind costumes that make you unrecognizable are fun. You can pick up that way. “… Who are you? Oh sorry! I thought you were someone else… Hi! Nice to meet you! Nice costume! … Teeheehee!”. See what we mean? A good costume naturally creates a false sense of security, which once accomplished means you can get them alone, rip open their head and eat their brain. This is Halloween remember, the definition of “pick up” is a bit altered.
- If going for a more complicated costume, perhaps something to make you a bit unrecognizable, bear in mind that all of your friends know what your skates look like. They probably know what you look like wearing your skates better than you do. Disguise your skates. People get made by their skates. When you get made, it’s all over baby, you can forget about picking up. No brains for you.
- Do pose for photos. Do strike aÂ poseÂ in your photos.Â It’s much more Halloweeny to growl at the camera, make like to rip your friend’s face off, or cruelly stick your tongue in someone’s ear at just the wrong moment. Ahh the look on their face. Though perhaps you want to consider who you try that last one with, it’s not exactly Halloweeny to clean one’s ears before skating.
- If you’re worried about how you’ll look on film, be a vampire. *Boom*, *tish*. Yuk, yuk, yuk.
- Do skate. It’ll be slow, we have to accommodate the zombies. The route has several loops in it, if you’re tired you can hop off at a strategic spot and have an extra halftime till we come back again. While you’re waiting, you might consider gathering some snacks for the cannibals.
- Do say hello to your ghastly neighbors. Refer however to cautionary note about being “picked up”.
- Do dress fun. Do dress sexy. Do dress for dancing. Remember there’s a party after the skate, so whatever you’re wearing, make it dance-able. Seven foot high fully enclosed robot costume = not good for dancing. Hot vampire with whip =Â veryÂ good for dancing. Whip also good for making space on the dance floor. DO dress for dancing – you don’t want to be moving like some sort of undead half-demented zombie.Â Sorry … sorry … you do. You DO want to be moving like some sort of undead half-demented zombie.
- DO scare the public. Seriously. Go ahead and do that. Nothing can possibly go wrong. Really NOTHING CANÂ go wrong. Ha ha ha. You’ll be fine. We’re sure you will. Oh yes, ha, ha, ha. Mmmm. We do look forward to watching you get yourself out of that situation. Really, do scare the public. We want to see how that turns out.
- Finally, if you stack, DO make clear to our first aiders which of your wounds are the real ones, otherwise they won’t know where to start cutting.
Are we getting the idea yet? We do deliciously evilly hope so. DO get on with the wickedness. Sort yourself out for the blackest, edgiest, spider-webiest skate of the season.
Mwah ha ha ha ha ha haa haa haaa haaaa haaaaaa!!